In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's no shave November. This is our time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
