Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
