my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
