Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
