I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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