He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
