Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
