i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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