is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He shit in the fireplace
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
