this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
