too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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