i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
