he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
