AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
