I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
