im about as happy as oj after his trial
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
