I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
