I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
