Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
