I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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