I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
