Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
