The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
