PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
