I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
