you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize