Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
