The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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