i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
