i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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