She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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