She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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