He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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