We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize