yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
