Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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