i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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