just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
