Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
