It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
