I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
