By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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