Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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