The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
