drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Randomize
