Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sober January is a disaster.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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