At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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