I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
