he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
