At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Someone came in the potted fern
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
