Jerry, you need to find god
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
