Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he thought i was a dude.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
