toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
