if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
