member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize