Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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