My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
