i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
