Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
