Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
