You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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