Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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