I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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