Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
