Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
